Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
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I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
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It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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