I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize