I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
