Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize