You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
