can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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