i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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