Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
