Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she told me i tasted like america
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
