So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I want a musical about memes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
