PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
