It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
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He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
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Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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