i already hear my dad disowning me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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