..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
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you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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