Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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