Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
