What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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