So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you didnt know i had herpes?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
