You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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