the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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