do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
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I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
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Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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