I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
