And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize