I think I won the penis lottery.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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