You were right. It hurts to walk today.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
