He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
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I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
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He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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