You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize