we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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