two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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