In the future we'll all be gay
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
