Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
