Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You're like the curious george of whores
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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