One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize