I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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