So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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