Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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