1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
