Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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