don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize