Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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