Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed