he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
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Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
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I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence