cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
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All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
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i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real