My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
