Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize