everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
