Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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