You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
