Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
