Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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