We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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