I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize